Thursday, January 17, 2013

Some of the most embarrassing things their kids had ever said





Some of the most embarrassing things their kids had ever said



  1. While discussing the 10 Commandments at Vacation Bible School (!), comparing "God's Rules" with rules the kids might have at home, my oldest -- then about 7 -- spouted: AT MY HOUSE, YOU DON'T DRINK FROM MOM'S CUP OF SODA WHEN IT HAS LIQUOR IN IT! -- Meredith 
  2. [My son] asked where my wienie was as I got out of the shower one day. I said, "Well, Mommies have a different kind of wienie than Daddies." So we get to the store later that day and he informs the cashier, "My Mommy has a different kind of wienie." Awesome. --Tiffini 
  3. Grocery store experience: my kid screamed, "PIRATE!!!" at a man wearing an eye patch. -- Cora 
  4. My son is bi-racial and thought every black man was Daddy. Once we were at the local grocery store and our cashier happened to be a black teenage boy. As we approached the register, my then 2-year old started yelling over and over, "DADDY." -- Lauren 
  5. My 4-year-old son felt the need to warn "old" people they will die ... he told a lady in the grocery, "Old people die ... and you don’t look so good" -- Edna 
  6. My 6-year-old grabbed our Rabbi's butt and said, "Squishy, squishy." -- Vick
  7.  Age 3, regarding a morbidly obese lady dressed in red in a store: "Holy crap, that is a BIG, RED shirt!" -- Kerr
  8. Saying our dinner prayer with the family, my 5-year-old wanted to say the prayer. So being that he wanted to be the big boy, we said sure. He says: God is Great, Beer is Good, and People are Crazy! -- Lena 
  9. Walking by the wine section of Whole Foods: "Mommy! Look at all this mommy juice! Look! Mommy juice everywhere!" I got more than a few snickers. -- Emily 
  10. My husband took my 4-year-old son to his uncle's funeral. When they were bringing the casket in or out of somewhere, my son said (pretty loudly), "What's in the box?" Luckily it got a few laughs, but ohhhh that was not one of his finest moments! -- Christina 
  11. My son pointed at a guy playing basketball, who had a prosthetic leg, and shouted, "Look mom! He's a cyborg!" I dragged him away quickly. He's totally into robots and all that, so it was a huge compliment coming from my son! -- Carissa 
  12.  When I quit smoking, my 5-year-old at the time (she's 23 now) told her kindergarten teacher that she was so proud of me because I quit drugs. -- Erin
  13.  I guess I did not have great bathroom boundaries with my daughter. While in a shopping cart, checking out, sucking on a lollipop, my daughter pulls the lollipop out of her mouth and tells the person bagging the groceries: "Sometimes my mommy pees red." She said it like I was a superhero. -- Jennifer
  14.  Just a few weeks ago, my son was in the bath and declared, "I just have a kid-sized penis because I'm a kid. Not Daddy, though. He's a grownup, so he has a big penis. Daddy, your penis is THIS big" [said while holding his hands quite a wide distance apart]. My husband, however, told him, "Now THAT you're allowed to repeat anywhere and everywhere you want."  -- Dorothy
  15.  My 3-year-old daughter was out with her grandma, and the lady in front of them in line was writing a check without ID and generally being irritating. At the top of her lungs, she sighs and says, "Grandma, this is taking FOREVER. It takes daddy less time to poop and he's in there long enough to play a world of Angry Birds!" -- Jane    (source: Jill Smokler)
 

What's the most embarrassing thing your kid ever said?

64 comments:

  1. Years ago, I was in a very crowded Mall where a woman was trying to get a young (3 or 4) girl to go into the bathroom.
    Suddenly the kid yells, at the top of her lungs, "But Mommy, you'll touch my wee wee!!
    I thought the poor woman was going to die of embarrassment on the spot.

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  2. 7 year old son said, "But Mommy, I know I'm mentally deficient..." When asked where he heard that he said his big brother. We were at a grocery store at the time and the looks I got! I felt like I had broken some sort of "Mommy Commandment" of the worse kind!

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  3. We were at the store one day when a "little person" crossed our path, my 4 year old daughter, in her most excited tone ever said very loudly LOOK MOMMY, AN ELF!! DO YOU SEE THE ELF MOMMY??

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  4. At my father's funeral, my 3year old nephew walked into the funeral parlor where we were having an open casket viewing and shouted out, "Mommy, who killed Grampa?!!" After she explained that Grampa was not killed, he then asked loudly, "Does Gramma know about this?!"

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  5. My Ex-mother inlaw used to pick up my daughter for L,D,S church service's, so on this one week I had had a disagreement with my land lord, and I used the B word to refer to her, so the following sunday at church my mother in-law was greeting some church members and as they met my landlord, my daughter says to her "my dad says your a bitch!" I do not know how she reacted, but I guess her grandmother was embaressed and could not get out of there fast enough, lol.

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  6. I'v often mad the joke that i need benadril and duct tape when my boys (13, 11 and 8) so when i took my 8yr old to wal mart to buy benadril, my son yells out "mom!! now all you need is duct tape!!" the look on the cashiers face was priceless!!

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  7. My husband is balding on top, so he shaves his whole head. My 2 year old and I were shopping and she sees a balding man and at the top of her lungs yells at him "Hey mister you need a haircut" Wow uncomfortable moment!

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  8. A few years ago my children were invited to a birthday party at a place where the children, through no fault of their own of course, had head lice frequently. I had no intentions on sending my children but I didn't tell them why. However, my then 8 yr old, heard me on the phone telling my mother. A few days later we saw that family at the store and the mom asked why we didn't make it to the birthday party. I politely lied and said we were tied up with things at home and I realized we had missed the party later that evening. My daughter corrects me and says, "no mommy, you said she don't clean her house right so they keep getting bugs!"....Funny now, but I wanted to crawl under a rock when it happened!

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    Replies
    1. I have a friend who is WAY cleaner than me. Makes her kids change clothes as soon as they get home from school, makes them wash their hands often, changes their sheets a lot more often than I change my children's sheets, has them wash their hair more often, etc. (Hey, don't judge me, I'm a single mom with 4 kids ~ yes, all same dad.) She is a stay at home mom and her house is impeccably clean. Yet, her kids have had lice several times and except for one of my girls, which I thankfully caught early, mine never have. Go figure...

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    2. Lice prefer a clean environment. If you keep your kids super clean, they are actually MORE likely to get head lice. People have a tendency of over washing their children, especially their hair. Oil is a head lice deterent.

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    3. I don't think that is what she was meaning that they were filthy people so they had lice it was... The fact she wasn't cleaning it enough to get rid of the bug in the first place so the kids kept getting the bug and she didn't want her child to have the bugs as well... My daughter has hair down to her bum BLONDE and I never had livce as a kid yet my child has gotten over and over again the last time was the worst when we moved to the south and got infested with a super bug thing was powerful and nothing would work to kill it. I got it my husband got it and I went on a panic cleaning spree... Tokk weeks but I was able to win the fight.

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  9. I was standing in line at the DMV, when my 2 year old son grabbed my "chest" and yelled "Boobies". Thought I would die!

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  10. I babysit a three year old, and she thinks breasts are called elbows. We used to correct her until one day at Walmart she yelled "Hey, I CAN SAY BWEASTS!"

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  11. I remember when I was about 6 or 7, my I was at my Grandma Ola's house. Now she's from deep in the heart of the Tennessee mountains, so she had a real thick Southern drawl that puts mine to shame. I was putting my hands all over the windows she had just cleaned, and she says to me, "Now Tommy, don't you be puttin' your hands all over them winders." I said back to her, "Those ain't winders, Grandma, those are win-DOWS!"

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    Replies
    1. How is that funny?

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    2. some people have really stupid children and that's the best they get.

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    3. No wonder you post as anonymous. Chicken-sh*t and obviously have perfect (non-existent) children right? Didn't think so. Keep your stupidity to yourself.

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    4. @Anonymous
      There is no such thing as a stupid child. In fact the child was correcting the adult for grammar. If anything it proves the child's ability to observe and the child's intelligence.

      @Natalie Butz
      Im from Louisiana so I can totally understand the southern drawl, especially in the cajun areas lol. My grandmaw was bad about her accent and some how despite being raised in that environment, I was always accurate on pronouncing words the correct way and constantly corrected her myself. Looking back on it I can remember my family laughing when I did it. Good memories :)

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  12. My daughter Selena who was about 9 or ten at the time said after eating dinner at a Chinese restaurant, at the top of her lungs.Who made this Chef Boy ARE DEE cause BOY IS THIS GOOD! I about died laughing :)

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  13. I used to play the Funkadelics CD in my car with my daughter who was three at the time. We went to K-mart and she was riding in the cart and that day, had beads in her hair. Well, we were at the customer service desk waiting in line and this white lady walked up and said. "Oh you so pretty in those beads." My daughter looked at her and started singing real loud, Make my funk the P-funk, I wants to get Funked up!" The lady just turned and walked away. The sister behind the counter just started laughing, and I just started pushing the cart in the opposite direction.

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  14. Only a few weeks ago, my family sits down to have lunch at a busy cafe. We sit quite close to two nice ladies who were studying the Bible and discussing the stories in it. My 6 year old son then decides to ask very loudly "Daddy, what do you call the doctor that takes care of women's vaginas?". At least he knows correct anatomical names!?

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  15. Hell, this is a "Moms say the embarrassing things" My boys (8 & 10) & I were at Verizon upgrading my phone. Was going to take a little while, so I figured the boys & I would run to Starbucks to kill time. They were sitting on a bench off to the side (actually sitting, not fighting for once!) & I said "OK my munchkins, come on" & it was no sooner out my mouth that I noticed 3 little people standing at the next register. To make it worse, I couldn't stop myself. "Come on my little guys" (I do call them munchkins quite often) I'm going to hell.

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  16. At walmart my daughter who was 5 asked me what the cashier had done to her hair. I was unloading my buggy so i said i don't know ask her. So she asks the lady what did you do to your hair? It looks awful. I thought the woman was going to cry she had colored it and it did look bad, but coming from a little girl, well i was very embarressed. The following week we are in the cashiers line again she had redone her hair my daughter says to her That looks much better.... then there was the time my daughter informed a lady in line that she smelled like poop....

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    Replies
    1. Haha, telling the lady she smelled like poop... poor lady, but that made me laugh out loud! :)

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  17. One night, as I was giving my daughter a bath, we let her use this new soap. It was a foam that was colored purple, and showed up purple on her skin and turned the bath water purple. After I had her all lathered up, I made a joke that she was the Purple People Eater. She says, "No Mommy! I'm the purple GIRL eater!" because she was in her 'boys-have-cooties' stage. I giggled and walked outside of the bathroom, then made a quiet (or so I thought) joke to my boyfriend saying we don't have anything to worry about with boys when she gets older because she had just proclaimed herself a lesbian.
    The next day, eating in at our local Taco Bell for lunch, my daughter asks in a very loud voice, "HEY MOMMY, WHAT'S A LESBIAN?!?!" I wanted to die of embarrassment ...

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  18. One night, as I was giving my daughter a bath, we let her use this new soap. It was a foam that was colored purple, and showed up purple on her skin and turned the bath water purple. After I had her all lathered up, I made a joke that she was the Purple People Eater. She says, "No Mommy! I'm the purple GIRL eater!" because she was in her 'boys-have-cooties' stage. I giggled and walked outside of the bathroom, then made a quiet (or so I thought) joke to my boyfriend saying we don't have anything to worry about with boys when she gets older because she had just proclaimed herself a lesbian.
    The next day, eating in at our local Taco Bell for lunch, my daughter asks in a very loud voice, "HEY MOMMY, WHAT'S A LESBIAN?!?!" I wanted to die of embarrassment ...

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  19. When I was six months pregnant with my daughter we were in Walmart and my oldest son being a breast fed baby had been weened because of the pregnancy. We got to the register and had my son sitting in the cart and the cashier who was very voluptuous came around to scan an item in the cart. The next thing I heard out of my 13 month olds mouth was "Boobies" and the cashier asking for help. I turned around to see my son had pulled her shirt down and she couldn't get him to let go. I wanted to die my husband found it hilarious

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  20. I remember when I was about 5 yrs old, my mother and I got on a city bus to go shopping. I sat down and looked at an older lady at the front of the bus who was wearing a mink coat, complete with tiny mink heads. I loudly asked my mother, "Mommy, why does that lady have rats on her coat?" The bus erupted in laughter and my mother was trying to not laugh as she explained to me they weren't rats and to keep my voice down. The old woman looked at me with demon eyes!

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  21. My mum was talking to me one day about my elder brother who we're all sure just doesn't have a mental filter as he still comes out with things now to people and we all die of embarrassment because of them. A few of his little gems were shouting in the middle of the shop one day 'Mummy have you taken your pill that stops you from having babies today'. Going up to a man who was wearing shorts on a coldish day 'why are you wearing shorts its cold are you an idiot?' and walking up to a man who was in the park throwing a stick to his dog 'hey you stop doing that it isn't nice how would you like it if I took your stick away and kept making you chase after it.' Like I said he still comes out with things like this now.

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  22. It is widely accepted that eating the skin of a potato is very nourishing and helps the digestive process. I w2would always encourage him to eat the skin so that it would help him do "Caca". One day while in a crowded restaurant my son turns to the next table and says to the lady, "you should eat the skin so that you can do lots of "caca". The lady with hey eyes wide looked at us like.... what have you been teaching this kid?

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  23. My nephew was playing in the McDonald's ball pit when he was three. At one point he popped up with a ball in each hand and informed everyone within earshot, "I;m squeezing my balls!"

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  24. My daughter was 2 and we were at Burger King one day when I asked her if she was hungry. She turned, put her hand on her hip, and yelled "hell yes!". While myself & my husband found this hilarious (we didn't laugh out loud though, cause I don't want her cussing) the people around us were not as amused...lol

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  25. In the pizza parlor one day, I stopped to talk to a long-time client from the hair salon where I work. My daughter interrupts and says "You look like a witch!" Laughingly, the client says "Is it my Chin that makes me look like a witch?" "No" she responds' "It's your Nose!" (I was afraid she would say her hair!) "I paid for this Nose!" the client says! Luckily, she had kids about the same age And a sense of humor!

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  26. I frequently "babysit" for our son's best friend's children. Recently, the 6 year old daughter and I were shopping for clothing for her, and her excitement was apparent. The lady in line behind us at checkout turned to her and said "It is certainly nice of your grandmother to buy all of these things for you." Harper replied, without missing a beat, "She isn't my grandmother, she is 'K Ray' and she is 63 years old!"

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  27. While staying at a hotel out of state as we waited for a hurricane to run its course, my boyfriend, 7 year old daughter(autistic), and I decided to go swimming. We were the only ones in the pool but there were some older ladies standing on the balcony of the hotel. While in the pool my daughter yelled out that she had to pee. I said, "ok hold on lets get out and dry off a little." Before I could make it out of the pool, she had already gotten out and was running towards my side of the pool. In what seemed like a half second, she screamed, "CANT WAIT!" and ripped the bottom half of her bikini off, squatted and let out a full force stream of pee that seemed to never end. As if this wasnt embarassing enough, the look of horror on my face must have been hysterical because she started laughing as loud as she could and peed more. Thank God it was just a cement deck she peed on. I started tossing pool water on it and never went back to the pool for the rest of the stay.....

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  28. We were at the beach in Nags Head, NC, and our condo had an outdoor shower. I was waiting with my 4 year old daughter,for my 8 year old boy to rinse the sand off, and he came out of the shower naked before wrapping his towel around him.
    My duaghter and I stepped into the stall and she looked up at me and said,..."I saw Henry's Weiner!... I LOVE Wieners...!

    It took everything I had not to fall on the floor laughing....

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  29. When we were living in British Columbia, my mom grew sprouts for something to add to food. My sister called it grass. When my mom was pulled over at a checkstop, my sister shouted "My mom grows grass!"

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  30. When my son was about 2, almost 3, we were eating at a restaurant and he was playing with two forks when he jumped up on the booth seat next to me and yelled "Momma, I'm HORNY, HORNY, HOOORRRRNNNYYYYY!!!" I knew he was trying to say HUNGRY, but everyone in the place was horrified... My husband and I tried to hide under the table lol

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  31. Looking at the stuffed animals in the store aisle when my youngest was maybe 3 or 4, she turned to me and Very Loudly said " Mom, Eeyores ear looks just like a vagina" Some lady came around the next aisle because she said she had to see the child who said that. Kids!

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  32. When my son was 3 he couldn't say upstairs so he would say i want to go up yours. And he also couldn't say donuts. He would call them nonuts. So my brother had gotten him to say up yours nonuts!. Great....

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  33. My wife thought it was funny to teach our youngest daughter to call a birds bill a pecker. One day in Wal-Mart as we were checking out, there by the cashier was a big stuffed toy Toucan. Our daughter excitedly exclaimed "Mommy, look at the pecker on that bird."

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  34. Just today in Ikea my 5 year old blurted out "I want to be a BIG, RED, Juicy cherry!" at the top of her lungs, just as a group of young men walked by. It was one of THOSE moments.

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  35. When i was about 4 in the early 80s i was on the underground with my mother, there was a woman breast feeding her baby on the opposite seat. (Back then you could do that.) I asked my mother "what's that lady doing mummy?" The lady smiled. My mother said "She's giving her baby his dinner", i looked at the lady and then back at my mother and said "what? He's going to eat all that?". The lady then stopped smiling.

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    Replies
    1. You can still do that. Anywhere you want. And if someone tries to stop you, you have the legal right to sue the s**t out of them. No joke.

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  36. When our oldest boys were 3 and 12 we'd taken a long road trip and had been listening to random CDs in the car - the boys got stuck on the "Baby got back" song by Sir Mix-a-lot. We stopped at a store for groceries and an extremely obese woman was walking through the doors in front of us. All of a sudden, out of no where the 3 year old busts out with
    "I like big butts and I cannot lie...I like'em round and big
    I just can't help myself..
    Do you wanna roll in my Mercedes
    Then turn around
    Stick it out
    Even white boys got to shout
    Baby got back"
    About that time we all realized what he was saying as the woman started turning around. As he started the next round of the "I like big butts" line, his brother very firmly clapped his hand over his mouth and threatened him with no candy for a month if he didn't stop singing.
    After the mortification wore off - Hubby and I about died laughing!

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  37. I was walking down the street in the lazy little town we lived in. My 18 month old daughter had decided to scream "fu@#" at the top of her lungs over & over & nothing I tried was working so I decided 2 grin and bare it until we got home. However my 3 year old daughter waited until we were about 2 pass a couple of old ladies before turning 2 me saying "mum! Kiara keeps yelling "fu@#"....like I hadn't noticed....

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  38. When my daughter was around two years old we were shopping in a grocery store and I had her riding in the cart. As we went down the aisles she was trying to grab things off the shelves and I kept quietly telling her to stop it. Finally, in frustration, I told her a lot more firmly to stop it. She covered her head and yelled "Don't hit me!" I'm about 6'7" tall and weigh around 300 pounds, and the looks I was getting let me know exactly what people thought of me. This was from a child who had never even been spanked.

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    Replies
    1. My son did the same thing to me...only shouting, "Don't Beat me, Momma", as he cowered in the cart. I had never hit him ever lol...I have laughed over this many times since, but that day I was mortified! :D

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  39. On my son's first Christmas with me we hung a Mr. Hanky stuffed toy on the Christmas tree. Later, when the adoption worker came by to check up on us, my son announced, "My dad hung his poo on our Christmas tree!"

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  40. The first time we introduced my (then-seven-year-old) son to my boyfriend's mother, she said, "So I hear you're a good singer. Will you sing a song for me?" After thinking about it for a minute my son launched into, "My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard," complete with bum-slapping effects.

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  41. My then 4 yr old daughter (she's 16 now) and I went to WalMart one afternoon, she was hungry so we stopped at the McD's in the front before heading in. There was a really LARGE woman behind us in line. Her top parts looked normal but her behind was ENORMOUS. I saw my lil loud mouth looking at the lady while I ordered her kids meal and hoped we'd make it out before her thoughts became words lol... no such luck. As I got her food and started to walk away she said..... "Mommy look at that lady's BUTT!" I said shhhhhhhhh that's not nice. She said "BUT ..... MOMMY ITS SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO BIG!!!" I said shhhhhhhhh she said, "MOMMY you're not looking!!! It's the BIGGEST butt!!" I was SO embarrassed.

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    Replies
    1. I had this exact thing happen with my four-year-old son (he's 23 now). We we at a buffet restaurant, and he stood in his chair to turn around and point at a large man. I couldn't get him to stop saying, "But, Mom, he's FAT."

      My mom saved the day. She leaned over to my son and said, "Yes, he's fat. Can we eat now?"

      My son plopped down in his seat, and that was the end of it. Apparently,he just wanted us to acknowledge his statement. LOL

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  42. When my daughter was three, I had gotten my books for my first classes for Medical Assisting. One book was for anatomy and physiology. As I glanced through the book, I came across a picture of the male body. My daughter pointed to the man's penis and said "Mommy, what's that?". I was taken aback and told her I would get back with her. After thinking and praying, I decided not to use a nickname for the penis and tell her the correct word. I cautioned her not to say it in public because it makes some people uncomfortable. Not a peep for three months. Then my now ex-husband paced back and forth through the kitchen. I asked him what was wrong. He said "You need to talk to your daughter". Mind you, she was his daughter, too. When I asked why, he said "She hit me in the growing and said "Daddy, do you have a penis?" I cracked up!!! She never said the word again as a child.

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  43. *groin. Grrrrrrrr, auto correct.

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  44. When my son was in kindergarten, he had a journal they would draw in, one day he drew a big brown blob, his teacher asked him what it was, he proudly said "It's a pile of poop!". She explained to him that it was not nice to draw poop in his journal. So after much discussion between him and his teacher, he says "Fine! Call it a POTATO!" She told me she just got up and walked away, trying hard not to die laughing!

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  45. Recently I took my 3 year old son to Walgreens with me. While in the lovely tampon aisle he sat on the floor while I was looking. He grabbed a big pack of pads and asked me what they were so I told him they were just girl stuff. For a minute or two he just kept looking at the pack of pads when finally he yelled "OHHH! I see, they are girl band aids!!". Three ladies cracked up and I told him they kinda were and hurried away.

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  46. A few weeks ago I took my neice and nephew shopping at Target. My neice is small for her age at at 4yo she is only 28lbs and actually looks more like a 2yo than a 4yo. Now she is sitting in the carriage and I hear her say "excuse me" I look up and she is poking a rather large man with a sleeveless t-shirt on. He smiled and said "What can I do for you young lady".Her response "Your boobies are showing and that is GROSS!"

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  47. When my now 32-year-old daughter was about 5, we were on the bus when a HUGELY obese woman got on, and of course, sat right in front of us. My daughter looks at me and says, "Mommy, why is that lady so fat?" I shushed her although the lady had heard her, but that wasn't enough for my daughter, oh no. Since I hadn't answered her, she says, at the top of her lungs, "MOMMY, WHY IS THAT LADY SO FAT?" Everyone on the bus turned around and stared...

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  48. When my daughter was younger she would point out the flaws of people that she ran into. Of course it was embarrassing and I sat her down and told her that she should keep her observations to herself because she might hurt someone's feelings. She thought very hard and then said ok and went off to play. Thinking she understood I was very shocked when one day we ran into a woman of a larger girth and she walked up to her and said "No offence but your really fat" Of course I was mortified and scolded her. Her reply? "But I said 'No offence' so she knew I didn't mean to hurt her feelings" All I could do is sigh and get out of there, smh.

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  49. When we were potty training our then 2 yr old son (he is 18 now and I still love to tell this story), his dad would always take him into the bathroom when he had to go so he could show him how boys pee. Well, we were in Burger King one day and my husband had to go and took our son with him. Next thing the whole restaurant heard, and they were busy, was "Dad! You have a big weinie!!" My husband was beet red when he came out of the bathroom and we quickly left!

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  50. At 6:10 this morning I went into our daughters room to wake the 4 year old for school. When From behind me in the dark came a voice a scary cross between Flo Evens and Optimus Prime, saying "Don't take these covers " it was our 3 year old. I jumped, peed, and lol all at the same time.

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What are your thoughts? Please share!